"Don't worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God's peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:6-7
I think my bible app gets me. The verse of the day is always exactly what I need to read..Maybe not always what I WANT to read..but what I need. I think I do worry too much about things..but I can't deny that I do tell God everything that I want or need. Also, recently when I start to get really really depressed about my life and where it's going..I have had to make a conscious effort to thank Him for what I DO have in my life instead of dwelling on what I don't have. It can be so easy to get stuck in that rut for me. I always do it to myself. I choose the most depressing song and listen to it until I cry..It's almost therapeutic for me..in a bad way..It's like I like being depressed and sad..I don't get myself sometimes. But I've always done this. Sometimes I have to ban bands like Death Cab For Cutie from my iPod because I WILL find that one song and listen to it over and over until I cry myself home in the car.
I think sometimes I read bible verses like this and just keep reading and don't really think about them. Because I usually think that I'm a good person..I don't have these sorts of problems..not that you can't be a good person and have problems..but ya know..sometimes when I look deeper into the scriptures, and deeper into my own heart and soul, I see scary and ugly things that I didn't see before because I didn't WANT to see them before..Overall, I feel like I believe that I have experienced God's peace, or that I pray about everything and don't worry..but pretty much when I look deeper into myself, I see a person who does constantly worry about things..big things and little dumb things. I say that I trust that God will give me what I need..but why do I keep trying to make things happen in reality? I've always struggled with giving up control of my life. Part of it is pride. Part of it is that I have a hard time trusting God..I want things to happen NOW and how I want them to happen. I did that for my whole life..and look how everything turned out. Now I'm not saying that I think I deserve everything that has happened in my life..but most of the things..well they were my doing. So I'm just gonna sit here. And wait. (For a country boy to drive up on a tractor to my door. And he has tattoos. And maybe he likes country music, but also UnderOath and Thrice. Is that so hard to ask for!?) Okay, just kidding about the part in parentheses. But really.
THRICE!!! I couldn't for the life of me remember that in my last message. Yeesh
ReplyDeleteYou got it. Just hunker down and wait for a while...and keep reminding yourself of all the things that you want and just don't settle for anything less! Even if it's only a few things. It's really that simple...but it's the waiting that's difficult. You just have to really believe that it's gonna be worth it in the end...and it will be-because God WILL give you the desires of your heart and you MUST believe that. I have been reminding myself of this for the past 3 years now!
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