Tuesday, April 16, 2013

Something takes a part of me..

(I really don't like Korn..but I've been reading Brian Welch's book and now this song stays in my head all of the time :''( I still remember the video on TRL and how mad I was that it made #1 all the time!!)

I think I must share something.
This past Sunday at church, most of the people there were each saying a little testimony..well not necessarily a testimony..but just something good that happened to them..something small (or something big) that was a reminder that God cares about the little things that we care and worry about. Well I was so scared that they would hand the mic to me and expect me to say something good that happened to me. Then think I was being silly or whatever when I would have to say that I had nothing. Over the past month, things have been..hard. I have been working non stop..my poor hands are killing me from massaging so much. In fact, I now have what I'm 99.9% sure is a ganglion cyst on my left hand. There really isn't like one specific cause for ganglion cysts, besides trauma, or repetitive use. At this point..well I can't not work. I have been more stressed out this year about money than I've ever been. I make really good money. More than most of my friends in the same field. I am just so horrible at budgeting! For the past month I have been scrounging up every penny (and maxing out credit cards :O !!) to live. To put gas in my car to go to work. I had a lot of bills pile up on me and I couldn't put them off any more. Also, I was trying to pay off my trip to Disney World, which don't get me wrong, I am super duper excited about..but I don't know if it was the best decision to make financially? At this point, I don't care..I need a vacation more than anyone knows and I'm gonna go even if I have to eat an apple for lunch. Back to my story..anyway, yesterday I was feeling really stressed out again because I have so many bills due, a Dr. appt tomorrow for my cyst (that I'm pretty sure I know exactly what the Dr will say/do, but it's better to be safe than sorry!), an appt for my puppy to finally get her shots that I've been putting off for far too long..I was in tears on my way home from work. I just didn't know how I would make it work.
 I checked the mail on my way in and noticed something that was to my (ex) husband from the same company that we had had our home mortgage with about 3 years ago..I opened it and it just so happened to be..a check! I couldn't believe it. We have been trying to settle with this company, tracking down phone calls, payments that we made through the company and they kept putting us off. Now, what they owe us, and what they actually payed us is really crazy. They owe us a whole lot more than the check was..but a letter that came with the check said that the company had settled and this was how much every person was going to get..honestly, I've been ready to move on from this situation since it happened. My ex kept saying he would get a lawyer and take them to court..but really..it was such a horrible time in both of our lives that I really just want to move on and forget that it ever happened. Anyway, my ex told me to just keep the check because he knew that I needed it. So there's my happy! I've so been needing something, anything good to happen. Sorry if I'm being a debbie downer..but seriously I've had a rough couple days/weeks/months/years, but who's counting?? Things are getting better..and I believe they will continue to get better.
The puppy even calmed down tonight and actually went and got in her kennel when she was ready to go to bed instead of jumping up and down like a psycho biting all of my flesh off. Say a little prayer for my ganglion cyst please! Maaaaaaybe It'll give me an excuse to let my hands rest at work. But I don't know how my patients will like that! They ask for me to give them a deep tissue massage every time they come in..sometimes they ask specifically for me. I'm not sayin I'm the best, shoot, I'm far from it. But I'm learning and gaining experience every day. I really do enjoy my job and what I do..I hope I can keep doing it for a long time.
I'm so excited to have a day off tomorrow that I might cry! It's midnight and I'm still up! I get to wake up early and clean my kitchen and fold clothes and run errands all day! Sounds pretty mundane..but it's just what I need..I love days like that.
night night.

1 comment:

  1. Me happy. :) And you'll eat in Disney because we bought meeeaaaallll plaaaannnnnsssss! We'll probably eat more than we need to, but it's okay because it's vacation and we'll likely burn off a large majority of those calories (at least that's how it was a couple of years ago for me).

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