Runnin up a mountain chains tied to my feet..

Do you ever feel this way? Like you're running up a mountain with chains tied to your feet? I definitely can say that I've felt this way for about a year now. And just when you think you have enough momentum, and that you can make it, you remember how heavy the chains are and you slow down. My life has been filled with so many ups and downs..Every day brings a new feeling..Every day I feel different. Sometimes good, sometimes bad. But it goes on..it doesn't stop..it won't stop. Just because I feel a certain way..life doesn't stop. Sometimes I want to just hit a pause button. My life was so boring and so un-challenging (is that even a word??) for so long. 27 years to be exact. And in one year I have gone through so much..I really learned who I am..I actually can say that I am a Christian..that I have a relationship with Jesus..before last year I was a 'christian'..but sometimes it takes going through a life changing experience to really learn and know who Jesus is. He knows I'm full of crap. He knows that I'll never be perfect-or even close to it. But he doesn't care. I wish more people understood this..thanks to POD for those deep thoughts today.. (one of my favorite songs by them..)

Ummm that was a little deep and I don't want to like get all deep all the time..soooo.
Today, I went to Starbucks, and the girl at the window gave me my iced hazelnut macchiato (try it!) and then she was like "Hey, do you want a venti caramel macchiato?" I'm never one to turn down a huge free delicious caffeinated beverage..so I took it. So I drank 2 cups of coffee this morning..my macchiato..and a third of the other gigantic one..sooo I sort of have the jitters now. I tried to run it off earlier tonight, but I'm still goin. Good thing I have 2 psycho animals that beg me to entertain them at all hours of the day (that I'm here at least..).

I don't know that I have much else to say. I started reading 2 books today.. Looking For Alaska by John Green..and Of Mice and Men. I thought it was weird that I haven't read Of Mice and Men so I figured I better get on that since it's a tiny book and I'll most likely finish it tomorrow. It's been awhile since I've read a book just for fun and I really enjoy it.. I think I'm going to read The Fault in Our Stars next..It's been on my reading list for quite a while and I noticed today that it was on the 'popular teen books that will most likely be turned into a crappy movie soon' table. I was like omgggg all of these kids are reading it and I haven't yet..I'm getting so old! jk.

Hey all you Ides of March bloggers..are y'all reading any good books right now??

k
that's all
goodnight

Cuz every girl is crazy bout a sharp dressed man..

I so forgot to blog yesterday!! I meant to last night, and I really just forgot.
I hope that someone reading this has watched Duck Dynasty at least once. It's so crazy. Gotta love those country boys. I love that they make duck calls..most of my memories as a child involve my dad (and brothers..) in the kitchen practicing or just playing around on all of his duck calls. I love that. I am always so happy and thankful that I grew up in the country..there really is nothing like it. It took me a long time to appreciate it but I really do. I actually went duck hunting (does laying on the bank of the crawfish pond in extremely cold and rainy weather count??) for the first time ever this past winter..I was never allowed to go hunting with the boys growing up..and when I was old enough to, I guess I just didn't want to. Although, I did trick my younger brother into taking me along a few times to get in the deer stand. I think we just liked it so much because it felt like a tree house. But I really liked going hunting with the men (and Steph!!) this year. Even though I was frozen and soaked to the bone, there's just something about being outside and being quiet and listening and watching and appreciating. (And then watching a duck fall to his death :'''( ) I don't really understand how some people can't enjoy and appreciate things like that. (not the dead duck. just the experience) I understand that everyone is different and finds peace in different ways. But that was one of the most peaceful places in my life..

So I'm being way too weird and sentimental right now..but I don't have much else on my mind right now.
Annnnndddddd I'm excited for new JT this week!! I have been waiting for a new album to come out..ANY new album..just something new!! And I can't waaaaiiitttt and it better be gooooddddd.

Annnnddd I'm going to Disneyworld for the first time ever innnn 62 dayssss!!!!!!! Don't know what I'm gonna do. I'll prob act like Sue and freak out and jump out of a window. I'M SO FRICKIN EXCITED.

Goodnight folks.

Here we go again..

It's here! Blogging time! Every day! I hope I can remember to do it every day..
I'm sure I have lots to say. Since my last blog was about my dearly departed Vega, I guess this one should be all about my new baby lab. It's helping me a lot to have a new tiny thing to take care of. It also helps that I have another dog to keep her entertained most of the time. Because she has wayyyy too much energy. And way too many tiny sharp teeth that want to bite everything in site. I swear I'm covered in doggie bites. Gotta love a puppy. I also have so many songs that I sing to her. Her favorite is obviously Justin Timberlake. I sing suit and chai to her at least 37,987 times per day. I also like to do those cheers from SNL that Will Ferrel and Cheri Oteri used to do and I make up new words every single time..If you don't understand then I feel sorry for you. Because dogs are people too. Here's some pictures of Chai bear butt tea latte puppy baby Loup.
Just kidding! For some reason my computer won't let me upload any more photos to icloud because it says I have too many :-( Once I figure it out, I'll post some! If any of you people out there in apple land know what to do about this please fill me in..
Excited to read everyone's blogs every day!

She had a big ole butt, oh yeah.

I suppose that I should dedicate a blog to my precious..Vega. Of course, it'll be hard to beat Steph's..she's good at blogging. Howeverrrr since the only people that read my blog are pretty much my family and maybe a few close friends..you all know about my lovely Valentines Day. I feel like all of my recent holidays have just been horrible. Not completely horrible..I did spend Christmas with my family..but it just wasn't the way that I wanted things to be. Anyhow, that's another story. Back to VDay. And Vega. The prettiest princess that you ever did see. I feel the urge for a photo montage to go along with my ode sooo try not to cry too much. Ha! (I feel like I can make some little jokes about it now..well, because that's pretty much what I do in horrible situations, because what else can you do? I like to make jokes about things that aren't funny..and also when I'm feeling pretty awkward. So sue

me!)

 

This little precious has been with me for almost 4 years. Before I got married. I trained her and took care of her..after I got married, she was there. It's not a secret that my marriage has been pretty bad from the start..but she was there. Nights where I couldn't go to sleep because I would have nightmares the moment I closed my eyes, nights where I cried my eyes out, nights where I fell asleep alone in a house that I was scared to live in..well..she was there. (Jesus was with me too..but ya knowww what I mean, geez!) She has pretty much been the one constant thing in my life..(besides my family) 

She followed me everywhere I went..to the bathroom..to the kitchen..ev.vry.where. Anytime I'd go to another room..I had this habit of always putting my right arm down and trailing my fingers along her fur beside me when I would walk around the house. She was my right hand lab. I find myself still doing this, but she's not there. There are times where I still feel like I'm in denial that she's gone..If I would have just looked for her for 5 more minutes. Just 5 minutes! (gotta stop saying that..) But overall, I'm doing okay. She was such a crutch for me..Gotta learn to let go of some things that I have no control over. 

I'm hoping to get a new puppy soon..but Vega will always be in my heart..I won't ever forget the horrible times in my life (they are making me who I am supposed to be..right??) when she was there. I'll never forget you, Vega! You had the best velveteen ears and the best soft spot right above your ear. You were the best sunggler of all times. You had the coolest name of all the pets I know. Here are more really cute and sad pictures for you to look at:

(an otter)

(a mother)

(a nervous bunny)

(a sister..very sorry that her brother Molly couldn't be in the picture..)

(a birthday cake)

(a sweetheart)

(a bed/pillow hoarder)

(a bff)

(a party animal)

(a vampire)

(a comedian)

Come on guys..the pictures could go on forever..

(in time out)

(even a cheesehead..)

(more mothering)

(one of the last pictures I took of her, sleeping on her favorite chair :)

Goodbye, Vega! See ya again someday. Fat bottomed girls make the rockin world go round. 

Nothing changes on New Year's Day..

Obviously I only named this entry that ^ because it's lyrics in a U2 song. Obviously.
Because I think that 2013 is going to be one of the most uncomfortable/best/scariest years of my life.
I am so happy that 2012 is over. Good riddance 2012. You were the worst year of my life. 2013 is going to bring so many changes in my life..from my job, to where I'm going to live, to my marriage. Every single thing is changing. 2012 knew that I absolutely HATE change and it let me stay where I was at. 2013 doesn't care what I want, it's throwing everything that was comfortable out of the window. I haven't updated in awhile, and I'm gonna try to do better this year I swear! At least 1-2 posts per month..I'll try my best! Maybe if my fellow bloggers want to do another 30 day blogging challenge it would force me to update more often! hinthint. Goodbye for now!

Will you breathe again?

Who will catch you if the engines fail?
Who will protect you if the train's derailed?
Who will revive you if your oxygen ceases?
Who will provide you with a new heartbeat?

You will catch me if the engines fail.
You'll protect me if the train's derailed.
You'll revive me if my oxygen ceases.
You'll provide me with a new heartbeat.

"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose."
-Romans 8:28

Who will catch you if the engines fail..

Chicken salad.
I've been craving it all week. But haven't had the time to make it. As easy as it is, I have never made it..I've always loved my maw maw's chicken salad more than anything in the world. She didn't make it often, but when she did, we would put some in some pita bread. It was awesome. Untiiillll I found out that she makes it from.....canned chicken!!!!!! I think I haven't ever made it because ever since then it always grosses me out. I am leery to eat it because when I see it all I think is that it came out of a can. That has a shelf life of like..12 years. Well maybe not that long, but anything that can sit on a shelf for that long and still be edible just disgusts me. Also, just think about what they put in it that makes it stay good for that long!! Ew. The only thing I think I use that is canned is (occasionally) black beans to throw in my chili. That is if I haven't soaked and cooked my own. Every once in awhile I'll use a can of crushed tomatoes..anyway..I'm on a really long bunny trail to say that I made chicken salad. Ha! I looked up so many different recipes and just decided that I would make mine up and see how it turned out. And I love it! I just baked my chicken in the oven..instead of mayo, I used greek yogurt. I threw in some toasted walnuts (I love the texture!), dill seed (I smushed it up-I think dill is one of my favorite tastes!), some juice from half of a lemon, a bell pepper, a little celery, and some onion and garlic seasoning and I think that was about it. I'm not a huge fan of apples (it's a texture thing) or grapes in my chicken salad, so this one turned out awesome!
That's all.
Just wanted to write about chicken salad.
Did I say chicken salad enough times in this post?
chicken salad.
It's grossing me out now.