And my head told my heart, let love grow..

I'm so tired so I think this one will be a short one..
Today I worked, took Ethan to Paradise Smoothie so he could get nasty tapioca balls, came home and changed and took the kids bowling with a bunch of people from my church..we had a great time. I'm so thankful to my family for loving the boys so much..Especially my brothers..the kids love them so much and can't imagine living without Charlie aka "Link" for 2 years when he moves..I'm gonna have to apologize in advance to Nicky for them driving him nuts to play video games and baseball with them!! I'm going to spend like 5 minutes with my husband now before he falls asleep..goodnight!

Spend my nights alone, catching falling starts to give to you love..

I don't really spend my nights alone..just had these lyrics in my head..gotta love Allison Krauss :]
I still haven't seen her live yet and I need to! Maybe she will be at jazz fest or something this year..
Today I got a visit from an old friend from high school..it was so good to see her. It made me think about all of the crazy things that we did back then..we had so much fun together. She was telling me that she is newly single..which she hasn't been in..well..for as long as I can remember. I really don't know what I would do if I was single..I don't think I've ever really been single since as far back as I can remember! I mean maybe I was for like, a few months or something..but I always had a boyfriend. What's so funny to me is that after I got married I kind of regretted not having that time to be able to find out what I wanted out of life or who I really was. But now, I don't regret it anymore. I have learned so much about myself after being married. I learned how to be strong and how to stand my ground on things that I really believe in. I honestly don't know if I would have done that when I was single. I'm sure I would have eventually..but being married forced me to find out what I really believe, and fast. And how to deal with things..of course I still have plenty to learn. Thanks God we have our entire lives to do that!
I noticed today that I have this irrational fear that my house is going to catch on fire..(What a subject change, right??) Every single morning I make sure like 10 times before I leave that my hair straightener is off (then I text Judah after I leave for him to check it) and I make sure the dryer isn't running or the dishwasher..and I check the stove all of the time. I started doing this about a year ago. A family that I knew had a fire in their home about a year and a half ago (maybe 2 years..?). They weren't home, and their animals were in the house. I can barely think about it without getting upset because they lost their animals. So when I leave Vega at home, she is in her kennel..and all I think about is if there is a fire at our apartment, no one will know she's stuck in there and she won't be able to get out..I know this is so crazy because I know it won't happen..it's so stupid that I think about it all the time! I don't know what I would do if I lost my Vega! She is my sweetheart..she was there for me when I needed someone..during the hardest time of my life. She was my buddy. I know some people won't understand that, but we don't have children (together) yet, so she's my baby girl. I'm gonna work on this fear because it's so stupid!

Yay tomorrow is Friday!
nighty night.

Cause a ring don't mean nothing, if you can't haul the weight..

I LOVE the song The Weight by Thrice..it's where the name of my blog comes from..this song really means so much to me. Check it out! (I feel like I could have written it..)
Lately my husband has been telling his friends "Uh oh, my wife has the babyitis" (which makes no sense..-itis means inflammation, as I recall from my medical terminology class..and there's no such thing as inflammation of babies..?) Anywho, I guess he's right..maybe it's because I have A LOT of friends with babies right now, or ones that are pregnant..like 20 of my facebook friends have babies right now and it's driving me crazy..My husband thinks that we "aren't ready", which I say to him what you are supposed to say, "no one is ever really ready!" Of course, he's thinking logically..things like, we don't have a room to put a baby in, we have only been married for a year and a few months..well he goes on and on but the only legitimate reason I see is that we don't have a room right now! But we will in August..and that's less than 9 months away..
I actually can't believe that I'm even thinking about having a baby..of course I always wanted one..I don't know many females who don't..but I never allowed myself to think much about it. It wasn't until I looked deeper that I understood my fear..I have really great parents. They would do any and everything for me. I had a good childhood. My father is a farmer, so he worked allll day and most of the time wouldn't come in til dark..so, my mom pretty much raised us. We spent 90% of our time with my mom (maybe it was just me..my brothers, most definitely my younger brother spent a lot more time with my dad learning how to do boy things). Fast forward to my life today..well my husband works 80+ hours per week..some nights not getting home until well after 9:00. One of my biggest fears was that I would have to be like my mom..to raise children by myself..to not have the support of a husband, to not have him there to discipline, love..anything. Annnd now that's me. I'm gonna have to do what I feared the most. And the only thing I can do is pray and believe that he will have a different job one day. A job where he won't work 80 hours a week, and a job that he won't come home completely exhausted from at the end of the day! There are a lot of other concerns that go in with this whole baby situation..but I don't have time or enough space to even start!
Babies!

When my thoughts drift to you..

Yay only 15 more days until Band Of Horses!
And only 9 days until Explosions In the Sky!

I started p90x today..it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. I did the cardio dvd..which is 30 minutes of karate, plyometrics, boxing..and other random things put together. Yeah, it was hard..but not as hard as I thought it would be. I'm not really that great at sticking to something like this every day..but I learned some new exercises that I can throw in with the ones I already do..I think I'm gonna cheat on my no sweets fast tomorrow..we are celebrating a co worker's birthday, and instead of asking for a cake like usual (that I could pass up with no problem) she decided she wanted Michael Morgan cookies. I can seriously eat an entire batch of them without thinking twice about it..so I'm gonna have the cookie. and I'm not gonna beat myself up about it. I'm sorry that I always talk about food or working out..I just feel like this is like my journal, and it's what I'm dealing with at this moment!

I'm really tired now..and I'm gonna go watch Lights Out with my hubby. It's our show! (besides Southpark, and secretly the Bachelor!)

turn the lights off, carry me home..

Ohhh Monday. I am so happy that you are almost over. My Monday went by really fast, so I won't complain any more. Actually my work week started off really great..the very first patient I saw at 7 this morning is a middle aged woman with back pain..as I was treating her she told me something so simple, but something that many of us forget. She told me how she has been having this back pain for quite some time, and different ways that she has tried to deal with it (this particular patient is the kind of patient who can describe the pain exactly, what time it was the worst, what time she turned over in bed to alleviate the pain..you get the picture!). Then she said " You know, I have tried everything to get over this back problem..but there's one thing that I forgot to do..just pray and ask God to take my back pain away." She said it so matter of factly..like duh why wouldn't that be the first thing that I would do? And then she told me that her back actually felt the best it had in such a long time. Sometimes we think that even the smallest of problems are trivial things to God..but he cares about every single tiny detail in our lives. That's the first time in my..8 years..? of working in PT that a patient told me anything like that. 

I was hoping to start P90x today..but when I got home from work the tv wouldn't turn on..turns out something is wrong with every single outlet in our living room..so I had to wait on Judah to get an extension cord. Crazy. By that time I had to get supper started..I know some people don't like making chili if it's not cold, but I had so many vegetables that I needed to use in my fridge so I just made it..and it was awesome. That's one food that I am confident will always turn out tasting great..you can't really mess it up and can add any and every vegetable you want. Looks like I will start p90x tomorrow! 

My husband is watching one of those Resident Evil movies right now and it's pretty disgusting..and the acting is bad..and the effects are horrible. I don't understand why he loves it so much. He just keeps saying "The storyline is awesome"..must be a guy thing..

Until tomorrow..

I never said I was brave..

Dear blog,
I am so very exhausted! Sundays are always like that for us. Today, I woke up in a horrible mood. I was still sleepy, didn't feel like getting up for church..sneezed like 20 times while getting ready for church, ran out of church outfits to wear..just had a really aggravating morning. I went to church and it was really good..glad I didn't skip out on it like I really wanted to! Some things you just have to do even if you don't want to, right? Even though it was great, I was still in a bad mood. I attributed my horrible mood to the few bites of red velvet cake that I ate last night. (that I was forced into eating!!) I had to do the grocery shopping and laundry thing, then we went to pick up the boys and head to the country. I was in the worst mood and felt like the worst step mom ever because I didn't want to talk or hang out with anyone..While at my parent's house I continued to be a bad step mom because the kids wanted to play bug-opoly but we all said that we were busy visiting with my sister in law's mother and sister that we haven't seen in awhile..A little while later my brother tells the kids he is going to take them frogging, to which they immediately said "NO WAY." There was no way that they were going to touch a huge bullfrog! I was still too busy being aggravated and told my husband that they HAD to go because they are boys and that's what boys do. So they were forced to go. After a few tears, they were in the truck on the way to the ponds. I was so proud of them for going because I know they were afraid..legitimately too, because I saw those tears before they went. This is really a huge step for them because they are usually afraid to do those things.
What finally took me out of my bad mood was when they got home..they had the best time and talked about it for the next hour. My husband later told me that he had to have a talk with one of them and let them know that he doesn't always want to do some things that are scary..but he has to do them anyway, and it happens more often the older you get. I feel like he needs to learn how to be brave from his daddy (and from Jesus and the Holy Spirit, too). After they finished my husband pulled his son to the side and told him how proud he was of him that he went. It made me realize that my husband really is a good father and I can't wait to have children. He is far from perfect, but he always knows what to say at the right time. Overall, we had a great day..we got to eat crawfish (among a few other tasty things my mom cooked), spend time with some Galbo's (Mrs. Jane is the best storyteller thanks to her awesome accent), and overcome some fears. A good Sunday.

We turn the pages left to right..

Today was such a great day. It started really early..but that's okay because I'm gonna crash as soon as I finish blogging. I woke up early and went to my friends Sam and Jesse's house..We had green waffles (well not me, I hate waffles!! but they were cute!) and a breakfast pizza, which was awesome (props to Jesse's cousin Ski who made it). After breakfast, we were off to the parade! My brother and nephew came, which was awesome because apparently my nephew loves parades! and beads! We had such a fun time.
Afterwards, we hung out at my friends' house and just sat outside and listened to music and it was probably the best day I've had all year. The weather was beautiful (but realllly hot) and I got a horrible sunburn..like I can see the outline of the beads that I was wearing..its really sad.
Tonight my husband and I went on a date..we went to Kona Grill and the food was great like always..while we were waiting on the check one of the managers was walking around and he stopped at our table with a huge piece of red velvet cake..he asked "Don't you think this cake looks so good??" Well of course it looked amazing because I haven't had sweets in a week..then he said "What would you say if I asked you to take this piece of cake home?" Umm really? And he set it in front of me and said it was on the house..So I pretty much had to eat a few bites of it because he was nice enough to give it to us for free..so thanks manager of Kona Grill for doing that to me!! And it tasted so amazing..and I broke my sweets fast. I made it almost 6 whole days, though!!
We also went and walked around in Urban Outfitters afterwards because I want like 99% of the stuff in there..I hate how expensive that store is. Why is it like the only store that I really love the clothes in, but can barely afford it?? Is there any other stores in BR (besides Forever 21) that I can find cute clothes in that I can afford to buy??